Just One Thing

People are more sensitive to tone. To paraphrase the poet Maya Angelou, people will forget what you said, but they'll remember how you made them feel....

Who are you resisting? The Practice: Accept them as they are. Why? I admit it: whether close to home or far away, I wish some people were different. Depending on who they are, I wish they'd stop doing things like leaving cabinet doors open in our kitchen, sending me...

Who are you prosecuting? The Practice: Drop the case. Why? Lately I've been thinking about a kind of "case" that's been running in my mind about someone in my extended family. The case is a combination of feeling hurt and mistreated, critique of the other person, irritation with...

Do you bear a grudge? The Practice: Transform Ill Will. Why? Goodwill and ill will are about intention: the will is for good or ill. These intentions are expressed through action and inaction, word and deed, and-especially-thoughts. How do you feel when you sense another person taking potshots...

Bullying and bullies are widespread. At all scales,from homes and schoolyards to boardrooms, they create a vast amount of human suffering. What can we do?...

What can you do when nothing is working? The Practice: Change the channel. Why? In response to a previous JOT – Find Stillness – a wise therapist, Betsy Sansby, reminded me that sometimes a person just can’t find any stillness anywhere. Maybe you have epilepsy or chronic pain, or are wildly...

[vc_row css_animation="" row_type="row" use_row_as_full_screen_section="no" type="full_width" angled_section="no" text_align="left" background_image_as_pattern="without_pattern"][vc_column][vc_column_text]Mirror, mirror, on the wall, what are the deepest wants of all? The Practice: See deep wants. Why? I did my Ph.D. dissertation by videotaping 20 mother-toddler pairs and analyzing what happened when the mom offered an alternative to a problematic...

What are you resisting? The Practice: Accept it. Why? As general clusters that each include a number of specific methods, my Top 5 types of practices (all tied for first place) are: Be mindful Love Take in the good Go green Open out The practices of “go green” helps...

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