How do you talk to people? The Practice: Try a softer tone. Why? Linguists like Deborah Tannen have pointed out that most communications have three elements: Explicit content – “There is no milk in the refrigerator.” Emotional subtext – Could be irritation, blame, accusation Implicit statement about the nature...
What's to like? The Practice: See what's likable. Why? Liking feels good, plus it encourages us to approach and engage the world rather than withdraw from it. Your brain continually tracks whether something is pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. In essence, is it a carrot, a stick, or safely ignored?...
Friend or Foe? The Practice: Be friendly. Why? Friendliness is a down-to-earth approach to others that is welcoming and positive. Think about a time when someone was friendly to you - maybe drawing you into a gathering, saying hello on the sidewalk, or smiling from across the room. How did...
Even though it's scary, everyone longs to be seen, to be known. To have your hopes and fears acknowledged - the ones behind a polite smile or a frown of frustration. To have your true caring seen, as well as your positive intentions and natural...
Humanity has great power for good and ill. As the earth heats up, as species go extinct and resources decline, it is critically important that a fourth major motivation guide our thoughts, words, and above all, deeds: Love the world....
Where does it hurt? The practice: Recognize suffering in others. We're usually aware of our own suffering, but seeing the suffering in others: that's not so common. All the news and pictures of disaster, murder, and grief that bombard us each day...
What puts people at ease? The Practice: Give no one cause to fear you. Why? We evolved to be afraid. The ancient ancestors that were casual and blithely hopeful, underestimating the risks around them - predators, loss of food, aggression from others of their kind - did not pass...
How to live in peace with each other? The Practice: Tell the Truth and Play Fair Why? Perhaps like you, I’ve been worrying lately about what it will take for all of us to live together in peace. I remember what I’ve heard many teachers say to their students: Tell...
