Blog

Who are you prosecuting? The Practice: Drop the case. Why? Lately I've been thinking about a kind of "case" that's been running in my mind about someone in my extended family. The case is a combination of feeling hurt and mistreated, critique of the other person, irritation with...

Imagine treating yourself like you do a friend. You’d be encouraging, warm, and sympathetic. You wouldn’t pour salt in your wounds, and you’d help yourself heal and grow. Think about what a typical day would be like if you were on your own side. Would...

Do you bear a grudge? The Practice: Transform Ill Will. Why? Goodwill and ill will are about intention: the will is for good or ill. These intentions are expressed through action and inaction, word and deed, and-especially-thoughts. How do you feel when you sense another person taking potshots...

What gets you stuck? The Practice: Admit fault and move on. Why? Have you ever watched two people quarrel, or otherwise be stuck in a conflict with each other? Usually, if either or both of them simply acknowledged one or more things, that would end the fight. Recall a time...

What helps you carry your load? The Practice: Feel the support. Why? We're all carrying a load, including tasks, challenges, worries, inner criticism, mistreatment from others, physical and emotional pain, loss and illness now or later, and everyday stresses and frustrations. Take a moment to get a sense of your...

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, what are the deepest wants of all? The Practice: See deep wants. Why? I did my Ph.D. dissertation by videotaping 20 mother-toddler pairs and analyzing what happened when the mom offered an alternative to a problematic want ("not the chainsaw, sweetie, how about...

What are you resisting? The Practice: Accept it. Why? As general clusters that each include a number of specific methods, my Top 5 types of practices (all tied for first place) are: Be mindful Love Take in the good Go green Open out The practices of “go green” helps...

Where do you live? The Practice: Be the body. Why? As a kid, I was really out of touch with my body. I hardly noticed it most of the time, and when I did, I prodded it like a mule to do a better job of hauling...

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